Neglected Crossroads

There is a crossroads, a nexus, a hub that few people know about. It is quiet little place away from the crowds and the popular attractions of kink. All around it are thriving communities and yet it is not only not used, it is often flat out avoided. Edge players and role players are not often thought of as having much in common but there are so many ways that these two groups can overlap. Role players can find more depth and realism in their games if they understood the dark nature of their characters. Edge players could incorporate method acting to engage in some the most horrible feelings and worlds we can imagine.

I have found that most role players disappoint me. They are stuck in their seats not thinking about the role they are in as a real person but as a two dimensional fantasy. This is a common feeling and I understand where it comes from. Most of us want to role play because it was how we got into sex in the first place. I remember seeing girls in my middle school in jean skirts and big hair. I remember the goth girls that hid their sexuality in short cropped hair and dark lipstick. I remember masturbating to fantasies of them sucking my cock, leaving burgundy rings as they went. I can still feel the new sex excitement when I think of the smell of denim soaked in her juices as we played around in the back of the car. These triggers are what we are trying to recreate in role-playing. We are looking to make the past real again or to manifest dreams. In either case the perfection of the moment makes it difficult to leave the third person head space. To truly enjoy the moment you have to become the character. When the fantasy is too over developed in your head it becomes difficult to get past. Dark fantasies have helped me by giving me a character that is strong enough in himself that I can fall into the role almost completely. These dark roles do not need back story. They do not need to have a motivation explained for you. They are understandable. They are flatter, more purely emotional people. Anger, greed, lust, are ll not only feelings but personas that can be manifest in dark edge play games. Do not over think them, let them be simple and horrible. What you will find is that a feeling role can be liberatingĀ and it helps to lay the groundwork for more complex characters later. It is not unlike wearing a path through the woods.

In many of the same ways that edge play helps a role player get in touch with the depth of his role, role play let’s an edge player get in touch with his more horrible side. As a sadist I struggle with my desire to hurt people. It is not just that I want to see them in pain but that I often want to see them suffer. If I am playing hard and exploring the blackest parts of my soul I used to need more aftercare than my bottom. I wanted to know that I was still a good man. I wanted to feel as if what I had done was ok. I was not comfortable in my sadism. I have heard similar stories from masochists as well. The guilt and shame one feels for desiring something which is not only shunned by society at larger but disavowed by many in our own community is often too much to handle. We hide this side away until it must come out and when it must come out, it is usually an explosion. If we can find ways to let it out, we are healthier and happier. If we can limit this shame and guilt the more we are comfortable we are at letting it out. Role play allows you to put the feelings on the character. The anger is not yours, the rage is someone else. You can explore it a little at a time. I find it interesting that the habits we are trying to break away from in role-playing (dissociation) is what we are using as a buffer in edge play. Slowly you become more and more comfortable with the feelings and let them become part of who you are.

Role playing can make things more real or less real depending on the angle from which you enter it. Emotional edge play can make a scene more intense if you are willing to commit to the feelings it brings. When these two kinks cross it is an amazing place to be standing. The realism of the feelings, the fear and terror of watching yourself become this monster, the ability to lose yourself in the role all work to create far more intense and satisfying scenes. We have to learn to see that many of the kinks we see can and do cross each other if we look hard enough. It is the complexity of what we do that makes this an endless game.

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3 comments on “Neglected Crossroads

  1. foxy says:

    I have nominated you for the Liebster Award. All information here.
    http://daddysnaughtylittlegirl.wordpress.com/2012/11/10/liebster-award/

  2. His sweet says:

    Sir, I thank you for this post. I will be writing something similar because my Sir and I often role play, but it isn’t about flat, two-dimensional characters for us. We have fleshed-out characters that we revisit, often and sometimes even in non-sexual “scenes.” We joke about how crazy we are, but now I see it’s not just us. It’s freeing and allows us, not only to tap into those darker corners of our minds, but to also escape from the bullshit of reality. While we are in character, we don’t have to worry about rent or grocery shopping or paying the electric bill.

    I see you have another nomination for the Liebster Award, so I’m not gonna make it all official like. I just hope that the link from my page will bring some interested folks to your blog. It’s nice to read something from a Master’s perspective because it’s not all that common.

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