Being a Dom is… Doing the Laundry

It was a great weekend, the second in as many weeks, and everything was seemingly perfect until the ride home Sunday night. We had taken the kids to visit friends and trick-or-treat like a pack of savage animals in the suburbs. It was nice; we are friends with the other children’s parents and the food is always great, but ZG and I were coming off a 5 am morning from the night before and were generally fatigued. On the drive home, as the boys slept in the back and ZG slipped back and forth between sleep and Twitter, I had plenty of time to start the process of realigning my thoughts for the upcoming week.

Every Sunday, I like to look at the upcoming week and think of what is going to need to be done. Lately, this has become more and more a list too long for completion and I have taken on the role of a triage surgeon, picking the most important matters to which to attend while leaving the others to hemorrhage until a time comes when I can get around to them. The more things that are left to bleed, the more blood that is on the floor and the higher the probability I will slip and fall, stabbing myself with a scalpel… okay, I think that metaphor is dead.

We have delved headfirst into a new life of hedonism as of late and seemingly lost sight of the rest of our lives. Yesterday morning as I was wrangling the kids into the car without ZG (we had gotten up late again), I realized another aspect of being the Dom in this family: It falls onto me to say no. The idea of having the ability to fuck whenever I want is all too enticing and when you first start down this path it is all you want to do, but there are real life issues that have to be dealt with. There are dishes to do, laundry to fold, children to bathe and general maintenance around the house, all of which has to be done everyday. They are not new things, they are not even tough chores, but they are chores and need to get done on a regular basis.

ZG and I have been putting the little tasks of the day off and pushing through them on Sundays, but since we have been out of town for the last two weekends, the piles now seem insurmountable. So now I have to step back for both of us and make a start of it. I have to be the bad guy who insists that we finish our work before we play. It is hard because both of us work and are generally disenchanted with our jobs, so with any free time we have we just want to escape and decompress. But it is my responsibility to make sure that we are not letting things fall apart in the meantime.

What I am not going to do is stop living my life. For the past ten years I have been living with my personal desires on the back-burner and since I have started to come back out into the world and thinking about what I want, I am not willing to give up being happy. Don’t get me wrong, my children make me happy. Kids make us complete but they do not fulfill every aspect of our lives, nothing/no one should. We make ourselves happy. Each of us knows what we personally want, what we personally need, but for a Dom it is more that. You have to refrain and not just for yourself, but for your whole relationship.

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