“I need more structure.” She had a mischievous grin on her face as she said it. She knew what that meant. The rule is that she can have anything she asks for, she just won’t like it. You want rules? Ok.
This is not going to be a list of the rules that I made for her. I will not sit here and go through the list one by one and explain what the rule is and why it is important. I will not list here for the whole world to see what the punishments will be for breaking the rules. This is where I explain why there are rules. This is where I explore what a rule means to me. This is where I begin the long soul search for internal structure that I can base my rules on.
1. Write rules you care about.
“Do not let her wear shoes in your house.”
I came across a list one day on FL listing rules to make a slave feel owned. I am new to this idea of ownership so it seemed like a good place to start. They ranged from good to crazy which I liked. I could pick and choose from a large list the ones that best suited me. I am not a structured man. I live in a state of chaos. I find its lack of structure reassuring. Coming across a list where the grunt work was already done for me? Win! I decided to try one rule. It would be easier for me to start simple and build my way up.
I told her she could not wear shoes in the house. It was simple and powerful. Our dynamic is built on a Captor/captive role scheme so the idea that she would not have shoes on would limit how far she could get if she ever tried to run away. (The misogynistic allusions were great as well :)) At first it worked. I would watch her and remind her. I would make her carry them down the stairs even in the morning when taking the kids to the bus. I would see her sitting on couch and I would lean over and ask if she was comfortable. When she said yes I would ask why she would risk it all by disobeying. Yeah, that worked well. The problem was that I just did not care whether she was wearing her shoes and frankly waiting for her to put them on at the bottom of the stairs where there was no place to sit was annoying the shit out of me. So it started to fall to the side.
2. Write rules you can enforce.
“In my bed, you sleep naked.”
This was a much more fun rule. It combines a few of my favorite things at once; vulnerability, accessibility, and subjugation. Since it is something that I like it is easier for me to enforce the rule. I notice immediately when the rule is broken and can correct it or not depending on how I feel at the time. I am not a monster. If she is sick and wants to go to sleep in soft clothes then of course I am going to bend a little. The trick is to know when to bend and when to hold fast. A cold is not the flu is not pneumonia. Just because she is a little chilly because I like to keep the fan on does not mean she gets to sleep in clothes. You also have to be sure to address the rule every time it is broken. Just because you are tired when she crawls into bed with your shirt on does not mean you can shirk your responsibility to make note of it. She needs to know that you notice. She needs to know that you care enough to address it. If you don’t then it begins to slip in both of your minds. You let it go yesterday so why not today? She looked great in your shirt so why not let her wear her pjs? Before you know it she is coming to bed wearing muddy boots. This is not to say you have to punish every infraction. Sometimes you are too tired. Maybe you sprained your beating arm playing racket ball. If the offense is small, sometimes you can simply remind her that she is getting away with what you let her get away with. Other times you can chalk it up for a later date. Let the minor issues accrue until she deserves the belt.
3. Write rules for the Master, not the slave.
“Lay out my clothes every night before you go to bed.”
Rules give a slave structure but what do they give you? This question goes back to the first lesson in many ways. If the rule is not something you care about then it is not going to be something you can enforce but it also brings up another point. A slave has a job to do, make your life better. This is good for you (obviously) but it is also good for the slave. She wants to help. She wants to feel useful. If you are making rules that are hard to enforce and do not make your life easier than the hassle is compounded. You are making her do something which takes away from your day and does nothing to reward you. Likewise, if she feels that you are making her do something that does not make you happy then it is going to be hard for her to feel the need to do it on her own. Ideally rules will be ingrained into the slave so you will not have to push her to do them. It is true that some rules are made just to make the slave dance but that has value in itself. It may make you happy simply to watch her prostrate herself every evening when you get home. Humility is an important lesson for slaves to learn.
4. Write your rules like a lawyer.
“Never cum without permission.”
Rules do not need to be fair or fun but they do need to be achievable. I love failure play as much as the next guy but rules are not the place for it. If a slave is given a rule to follow on a daily basis and knows that she will not be able to succeed at least every once in a while, she will lose faith in the rules themselves. Rules are to train and guide, they are not meant to destroy. If you want to make the task difficult know what you expect the success rate to be and make the punishment suitable. As an old boss of mine used to say, “Don’t let the best be the enemy of the good.” There are ways to adapt difficult rules to create a better success rate. The example I give here leaves out an important piece, the permission can be implicit or explicit. This allows me to make the rule easy to follow or difficult depending on my whim. Rules should be thoughtful and crafted. They are one of the main ways a slave can see your hand in her life. Be aware of what you say.
5. Write your rules like a love letter.
“Do not go in my room.”
Rules are a first line of communication. They are personal, they are thoughtful, they should be heartfelt. The rules you put on your slave are going to guide her when you are not there. They are going to give her direction and a feel for what you want from the relationship. Use them wisely. Add variety to the types of rules. Make some sexual and others service. Make some difficult and others easy. Give her a rule she enjoys and rules that she hates. Show her that you are watching and listening to her. It is this understanding of her innermost thoughts and feelings that make a slave feel that she is loved. Likewise, make the rules personal to you. Let her learn to serve you better in ways you have not even thought of by understanding you through your rules. Put them on paper, make them available to both your slave and to you for future reference. They will hold a special place in your relationship next to your contract or wedding vows.